Swine cold

The BBC are trying there best to get everyone panicing over swine flu. Including this eyewitness report from some expat who had the disease.

"I think swine flu is very different from a normal flu because I just couldn't get out of bed. "

No no no you silly moo, you have never had ordinary flu. As that leaves you bed ridden. Everytime you have claimed to have the flu in the past, you have merely had a bad cold. Because, well, simply and frankly, you are a wimp.

Plus look on the bright side, this first dose of actual flu, be it swine or normal, has left you alive. Congratulations.